Accelerate at all times – The cab must be speeding from point A to B without hesitation. Deceleration is only permitted by slamming on the brakes to stop for red lights and bums wandering in the middle of the street.

Talk constantly – Not to the fare, but to someone on the other end of a Bluetooth headset. It is strongly suggested, although not required, a foreign langauge be utilized.

Cause accidents – Be it a sharp veer or gradual drift, changing lanes and ramming into other cars is a must.  Using a turn signal is clearly out of the question.

Complain – Whinging about making more than one stop, tips, or someone actually driving sanely should be done constantly and with flair.  Writhing hand gestures are a plus.

Smoke – Lock the windows and puff away.  When asked to open a window, groan and crack the window 1/4 of an inch.